Essentially, dating
techniques has changed throughout the years and so different generations from
times past, will tell their tale of how dating was done in their 'time'. In
such a review, I was able to observe differences from past to present which enabled me to enlighten us
all on our new found way of dating. Believe me when I tell you that I don't
care to rouse nostalgic feelings but to share a fair highlight directed to the
flaws made by our modern trend and indicate why it's definitely not working.
I'd like to make it
clear, that one's reason for being in a relationship should never be for a fear
of being single nor for the mentally gratifying cliché of having a spouse. This
is by far one of the biggest dating mistakes ever made. As simple as it sounds,
this uncovers a multitude of issues. Matter of fact, minds which carry such
reasoning, lack self acceptance and confidence. Both factors credits us
profoundly in exuding the right energy thus giving us self assurance which
brings the great reward of attracting the right people.
In the case of men,
whose ego may never seem to have an antidote... They are conscious of comments
sent in their direction of 'still being single' which causes an urgency to find
a girl friend just to show that they have the potential to catch a mate. How
lame is that? Fellas, in case you haven't noticed, that only earns you a
"Taken" sign and a relationship of no substance. Here's a hint-
Instead of giving attention to your single status, concentrate on being the
best you by finding comfort in loving yourself and by building a character and
an attitude that will attract the spouse you desire.
The very same goes
for women but it extends further where the urgency may be highly attributed to
the 'biological clock'. Reality check ladies - the very same child you want to
bring into this world, needs a father who is worthy enough to be one! For that
very purpose, it is time portray self love in all aspects by being outstanding,
confident and unforgettable! Both sexes must decipher exactly what they are
looking for in a relationship and why they want it. It is key though, to always
shine through one's independence and morale as to never show vulnerability.
Aside from the
emotional woes, I could not help but notice the we've lost value in having a
meaningful relationship. Apparently, having friends with benefits seems to be
the 'thing'! I am curious to know… Is it the thrill of having more than one
partners or do people have commitment issues? Oh, forgive me - those were
rhetorical questions. Clearly both answers are on the affirmative. Frankly,
people have also lost value in themselves and furthermore failing to realize
that they're creating such a messy life path at the same time too. Friendships
no longer remain just that for the sole purpose and enjoyment of the very
popular 'sex-bug'. Yes, that's my name for it ,given the fact that it's
becoming such a norm as the common cold and Respect is no longer had that God
created sex only for marriage.
Guess what, if the
interpretation of a relationship is now a fling, then I am afraid that people
have yet to reach adulthood. What sense does it make to put your emotions in a
spider web of chaos?... a part from being exposed to STDs and a life of being plagued
with memories of all the different faces. It's understood that people would
have gotten hurt before and think it to be a chore, to put their heart on the
line in fear of having it broken again but true love is worth it. On the other
hand, there are people who are selfish enough to not allow another person into
their heart only for fear of being incapable to give time, attention and love
to a spouse. It may even go as deep as one feeling un-worthy of the other
person's love and affection but true love is definitely worth it if effort is
given to having a meaningful relationship. Let's not create a scenario for
ourselves where our engagement party or wedding day, becomes swarmed with our
'friends' eyeballs looking at us saying, "I screwed you!"
I found it to be quite appalling to see the
way couples have resorted to settling in unhappy relationships for the reason
of "having invested so much"! I totally understand, especially in the
case of marriage but why be tight-lipped about it? Are we so programmed to our
work and cell phones, to the point where the most comfortable way of
communicating with our spouse is via text or social media? In case you've
forgotten, your spouse is a real person with ears to listen and a mind to
understand, guarded that your other half is not a beast; one should be able to
speak about the issues with that individual. Stop walking around with tension
beams on your shoulders and provoke the thoughts of your other half, in
realizing that dating is work if a healthy and meaningful relationship is what
your fighting for.
Written by:
Drishna Gibson
Drishna Gibson
I do look forward
to hearing feedback from all my readers… Feel free to leave your comments and
questions below.
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