To say that
the frequent occurrence of men slighting their relationships by being present
yet absent, would be a massive understatement. I pretty much know that at some
point in a woman's life, she's dealt with the 'all too comfortable' man. I wish
to preface this subject by making it known, that my intention is not to attack
men but to bring to the fore their seemingly 'unconscious' exploitation. Such a
strong word, isn't it? I know… I find it fitting to use on such a robust
creature called Man, aside from feeding his ego, for now.
In this case, I won't have to say that I've observed but rather that I have experienced the mindless figure we call 'mate', who would walk into the same room with you present, sit, eyes fixed on his phone or the TV and not even put forward the gesture of providing a simple smooch. If that sounds bad, think about the wife who works a nine to five, comes home to cook dinner and yet her husband fails to inquire about her state of being after a long day's work. Note that I have not even mentioned any children being in the picture. Wondering why? In all honesty, it takes but a few months for a man to forget how hard he worked to sweep his lady off her feet. Now I'm not accusing every man of this action because there are definitely some exceptions, though they are not exempt from falling into the trap.
Of course I
am bold enough to ask some of my male friends the question every woman wants
the answer to… "Why do men become complacent with the women they
love"? Ladies, you would not believe some of the answers I got. One
gentleman, soon to be married said, "We text each other all day so when I
pick her up from work, I think we just want to get home and relax". I
shook my head and being the honest friend that I am, suggested that he marry
his phone. Another single friend said, "She's already mine, I'm not going
any where and the sparks die down a bit after a while anyway". I don't
have to wonder why he's single and he should remain that way until he get's 'a
hint'. Two other married men said the exact same thing to me, "She's my
wife. She knows I love her and things are different when you get married… I no
longer have a point to prove"!
At this
point, I was furious and wondered, to what degree a woman would ever deserve to
have a mate with such imbecile thinking? To drive the nail further into my
contemplation, the same men expect us to be sweet, nurturing and the exotic
bedroom playmate. Are you guys for real? If you are honest with yourselves and
your mate isn't making a fuss about your dysfunctionality - be very worried.
I'm being your friend here guys because I feel that you can perform better and
no offense but clearly, your own dysfunctionality is inapparent to you.
Given that
your actions aren't a part of 'the game', I am sure it is a blow knowing that
your lady feels the relationship is monotonous. Hopefully you understand that
women, just like men, hate to be bored. I'll appeal to your ego and furnish a
scenario. What if your mate, suddenly developed a poor routine of dress with no
self up-keep that just no longer stroked your wand… I am sure the 'eye-candy'
outside would be getting your full attention, right? Then what if your mate, in
her unappealing state, expects your regular romancing and dare I say steamy
intimacy and God forbid you can't 'get it up' because at that stage, you're no
longer attracted to her. What would you do?
Talk about
bursting her bubble, a bit of embarrassment on you and at that point the
relationship has gone sour and seems unsalvageable. Men, please do realize that
it's the very same precarious situation you cause by the 'unconscious'
exploitation? Your emotional absence gives no fruit to the relationship but yet
women ought to give one hundred percent, despite her feelings of resentment due
to you being foolishly callous. If you've forgotten… It takes two to tango.
Relationships take team work. Simple formula- time spent Communicating, giving
Attention, having Trust and sharing Love. Never expect to get the full
treatment if you've decided to just be the chair.
Nature gives
us all a beautiful example. Treat your relationships as a rose garden. Water
it, provide it with radiant sunlight, trim away the dead leaves and dry buds
and your result will always be, an Insatiable hunger for each other.
Written by:
Drishna Gibson
Drishna Gibson
Please feel free to leave your questions and or comments below. If there is a specific topic you will like me to write about, let me know.
There are some very interesting aspect of relationships you touch there. I mostly agree with you but in my opinion this is a double end problem...some times it's the man attitude but some times it's the woman that lets herself down and relaxes...
ReplyDeleteSo in my opinion it comes to how much self respect and self confidence someone has...if i want myself to be ok and be liked...i will take care myself and my relationship everyday...but if the other part doesn't do the same...i will just move on...expressing my opinion here.
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