As
my blogs are written to stir opinions and activate hot topics. Today's blog was
written from thoughts triggered by one of my readers who commented. What's even
sweeter, it was a man's opinion and I agreed with every word he said. While it
may be good to point out the wrongs of our men and criticize them for those
things, ladies don't you forget that we too, can be at fault. The important
thing here is to strike a balance and to obviously, be fair. In my humblest
slant, a woman who can admit her wrongs, improves upon them and nurtures things
which contribute to her relationship, is exactly the type of woman who receives
companionship.
Of course, my findings may not be one hundred percent right but at the end of the day, we don't want to hear, " She always has an attitude and she's just no fun to be around". It's important to note that I am not implicating that a woman should be an easy walk over or a toy but rather, to be a good judge of when and how. For some women, this can be a difficult task because we like to be 'in the know' of each step we take. It's called being sure which makes us a bit more confident in our actions, right? I used to be the very same and as women, we know it as 'the protection barrier', for our heart that is. It's like having the right bra and being absolutely sure, that it will give us the desired look in our clothes. As much as, this may sound like dating behavior, it's very prevalent in a lot of marriages. Sorry to burst your bubble ladies, myself included; it's time to loose the attitude.
By
now, I'm sure women are rolling their eyes at this and the fellas are grinning
from ear to ear but hear me out ladies... only real women will own their wrongs
or else, our men will continue running to little girls, who they claim, are
better. I may not go down that road today but someday I will.
On
the issue at hand, one of my male readers expressed his dissatisfaction in
situations where, the man might be trying to be at his best but his girlfriend
or wife, may fail to notice or don't care to reciprocate and as he rightly
said, this is a double end situation. Clearly, it isn't just men taking their
women for granted, women do it too! I understand when we're hormonal and full
mood swings but that wears off. We often excuse such behavior, as being related
to an argument or something he said or didn't say. I understand this all too
perfectly ladies but there are two ways of skinning a cat. Understand this; the
very same soft spot we have, men have them too and God did not give you a man
to control or belittle him. If you're not comfortable about something, sit and
talk like two civilized people about it and be sure to listen to him not just
hear him. Men may not always come out and say how they feel all the time,
sometimes we have to get in their feelings but don't ever assume. Ask questions
nicely and he'll eventually say what he has to say. Never expect him to always
say, " I'm sorry" first because
it will become his recital with no meaning and it's annoying for a man
to be made a nail and a woman to always be his hammer. Such behavior is
childish.
There
is nothing wrong with greeting your man with hugs and kisses first, men love
attention just like us. Quit the pious, waiting look of wanting him to walk
over and deliver a smooch. Honey, this is not pizza! You are fully aware that
you're aching for him so if he's your lion, be his lioness. I couldn't help but
think of Cherine Anderson's song -
"Good love", youtube it and big up to my Caribbean people! I know
this doesn't work in all cases because some people fail to express themselves.
If you're dating and your spouse whether male or female, has this type of
'non-communicative' action and you can not handle it - hit the road. No body
should put up with that kind of frustration because if a person can't express
love in actions and WORDS, then real love is not in that picture at all.
Hopefully, before the individual is a hundred years old, they'd figure out how
to express themselves and of course you won't be hanging around.
Just
like us ladies, men have a right to be disconcerted with our attitude and
dismissive actions. What's even worse is when a woman becomes complacent in her
appearance and I pity men who are stuck with a woman that lacks confidence and
has lost her sense of style. They do hint to us to improve but sometimes a
woman's head can be stuck so far up her rare before she takes notice. This is
the number one thing that does all women a great injustice. It's bad enough to
have a bad attitude but adding an inferior complex and a terrible sense of
style to it, only rubs the 'poo' in your face. Should I say, I am tired of
reminding us that men go after what they see? In no way am I agreeing with men
to have affairs but never push a man into the hands of another woman. Of course
they can go on their own and if they do so, then it should be solely because
he's still a boy wanting to satisfy every 'dick-itch'. Instead, be the
confident woman who knows how to compliment her body in clothes and who keeps a
man wondering what you're going to wear. Trust me, every time he is driven to
find interest in another woman, he'll remember that there could be another man
finding interest in what belongs to him; therefore, he'll keep his nose in his
own bowl.
Ladies,
never mistake confidence with attitude. There is a difference in composing
yourself, protecting your heart and being down right relaxed in your
relationship. Just as fast as you got the man… you can loose him. Having an
attitude in no way keeps a man interested. Who ever taught you that strategy,
gave you bad education.
Written
by:
Drishna Gibson
Drishna Gibson
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