In life, there are many ways to be happy. Many would proclaim happiness by doing what they love or even attending a party and having a few drinks or more but what is true happiness? Today's article, is inspired by a couple who undoubtedly love each other yet they're living a frustrated life, for the simple reason of 'lack of balance'. Hard to question right?
I too, pondered in trying to figure out the main issue. I figured out so many things from analyzing both sides of the story but I refused to give credit to any of the reasons given. I found it quite strange, that I didn't go ahead in sorting out the issue by offering the solution of 'fighting for love'. Of course I never believe in exhausting that cliche nor am I a believer in sugar coating anything but rather, I wish to offer a more selfless and selfish approach. Furthermore, I wish to highlight that the key to life is balance and it must begin with one's self, before it is extended to any other aspect of life.
I do not know but it seems to be standard behavior for people to become so engrossed in a person when they think they've found love therefore, loosing themselves in the process. This is exactly where exercising true balance begins. We've often heard the saying, "Respect yourself and others will respect you", well the same applies here. Prioritizing yourself to be always first after God, is vital in creating optimal balance. In practicing this method, your quest in finding real happiness will end and you will discover that it all begins with you. It can never be defined or found in crowds at the club, afternoon tea with friends and neither at the bar on a Friday night. Frankly, that's socializing not happiness. You see, it's important to be valiantly involved with yourself; time to think, relax and invest in you! This ensures that your emotions are in check and that you've made the statement, that you're important to yourself and you come first. Sadly, society has labelled such a gesture as vain but like it or not, I'd be vain until I die because no body can love me like myself and not until we appreciate ourselves, then our spouse will see the importance of appreciating us. Mother's will give selflessly to their children and wives to their husbands, forgetting to take care of themselves. Unfortunately, by age 40, children will be giving you attitude, trying to slam doors in your face and husbands would have adapted to seeing his wife as a maid. Ladies, if you haven't caught on yet, a husband ought to know that he did not marry a maid because he already took it from you! Children will be taught that lesson in a different way but whether man or woman; it is important to invest in yourself.
This couple is at the peak of their careers but they failed to give importance to self and each other. If I go any further in describing, we'd get the impression that they're beginning to look like their place of work and yet they expect to get time, attention and security. Now, I'm not saying that there aren't any women or men out there who take care of themselves and still don't get what they need from their spouse. It happens all the time but the situation can be easily handled. A one-sided relationship is not a relationship - it's a chore. At this point, if you're the one doing all the giving, just stop. He or she will notice... they'll notice that their comfort is gone and will react in one or two ways. Either by dodging and seeking that comfort, elsewhere; which proves that he or she really didn't love you or they'll realize that they've been doing something wrong and take the necessary actions to do better solely because he or she loves you and want to do you right.
Solutions are simple if we understand the root cause but it does not pay to wallow in sadness, effectively causing stress. We are all too blessed to be stressed and deserve equal appreciation. Look away from the problem and concentrate on self and very soon... he or she would be concentrating on you.
Written by:
Drishna Gibson
Drishna Gibson
Blogger & Author.
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