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Overcoming infidelity


If you possessed the ability to freeze time, what's the first thing you'd do? I'm sure the answer to that question will never be the same because in this journey of life, our intentions are like musical combustion. However, in the area of relationships, all of us might agree, that all we want is a faithful and loving partner. Though infidelity can cause heartache, I see it as the adventure of life.
Many would say that being faithful is much easier than the task of cheating and although I am in full agreement with that reasoning, I wish to explore the cause of infidelity. Is it the thrill? Is it a phase? Is it a never ending quest for something new? Or, is it an insurance for inadequacies? I would say it's a combination of all of those things. You see, women and men are very much alike in the excitement for something shiny and new. Women are just as exposed to the opportunity of male indulgence the very same way, a lady will catch the eye of a man. What if I suggest that we as women should explore our excitement for another man because life is too short to settle for one man when there are so many varieties. I bet the men reading this are thinking that my suggestion is brazen and disgusting because your girlfriend or wife is supposed to be committed to you only, right? Then, what begs the excuse to your whoredom?
Surely, it will be unfair for me to say that unlike women, men have a deficiency. I know that boyfriends/ girlfriends or husbands/ wives who are victims of infidelity repeatedly, believe that their partner is under some kind spell or that they lack something their partner is seeking after. Nothing is more further from the truth. People choose to be unfaithful for no reason at all but decide to excuse it, by making the innocent party the cause and therefore, look inadequate. A person opts to cheat even before the act is done and it is all based on curiosity. Whether the curiosity is seeking a person who is better at sex, kissing and dare I say, one who can actually give you an orgasm, the reasons are  endless. However, human resolve should always be that energy concentrated in one place guarantees a result but sporadic energy require connections left vulnerable to burn out.
Infidelity triggers choices. Choices to stay or leave. Choices to separate a family or to "patch" things up but the ultimate choice is in the hand of the innocent partner. It's easy to consider the time invested, the children involved and the financial investments made but this is the defining moment where men and women seem to handle things vastly different. A man would say that it's easier for a woman to forgive a man. Why is that though? Is it so hard to digest that another man was all up in your cookie jar doing things maybe you're incapable of? Or is it that men feel that women will always have thoughts of the other guy? Oh, a man can't trust his spouse again after she cheated? I'm not beating up on men here, I am just pointing out how value is placed on a woman's body, and not on the woman as a person. It's the very same way a man values himself. His penis carries more weight than his character and so, the penis makes the choice to go from pillar to post with the bright idea that a woman will forgive and forget, right?
This article is not written to bash men or to instigate women but rather, to sensitise us of the ground we walk on and how very fair the playground can be. Life is wonderful and from the beginning of time, we are given the power to choose. Nothing is set in stone and we're rewarded with what we settle for. If we accept infidelity, it will knock on our door every two weeks. However, if we exhibit our ability to close chapters, our stories will end well.


Written by:
Drishna Gibson.
Blogger & Author.
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