As a
conversationalist, topics of all varieties usually arise among my circles and
what's even more striking is that I'm bold enough to tackle the most sensitive
issues. However, if you're one who's usually caught on the side of naivety,
this article is definitely too much for you. In the value of opinion, I hope
the can of worms I'm about to open, will become the topic of conversation in
churches around the world and most of all, the paradigm shift for Christians.
With that being said, let me share the conversation I had in one night with a
group of friends who requested that I tackle the issue of sex before marriage
and what the single/ dating Christians are expected to do.
False pretense irks me and it's practically what we get from the older folks. They call us "this generation" as if they were exempt from the very same things we face today. Pastors will preach to us, behove us to be righteous and neglect to teach us righteous living through their example. It becomes so decorated with crap to the point where they try to make us believe that they never had sex before marriage. Who are you really trying to fool? Coming from the Caribbean, we are very aware of the events back in the day; baby house, the shaking bush and the nice tale of the so called innocent moonlit walks along river banks. Let's get a few things correct. Fornication existed then and it still does now but it is, and will always remain, a sin. Matter of fact, the wait for marriage back then, was not long at all because older folks will tell you that most of them got married at age sixteen. Excuse us if we are more goal oriented in pursuing our careers and other passions before settling down in marriage. Studies now show, that most women are now getting married at age twenty- eight and in men, the average age is now around thirty- two. While the wait might be long for some and drawn out for others; Will the church have a frank conversation with its dating populist?
The conversation
went into deeper depths in regions of discussing alternatives. What's laughable
about this situation is the way the older folks detests the alternatives and
cleverly place it under the heading of fornication as well. By 'alternatives',
I'm referring to masturbation, oral sex and anal sex. While we are not to
fornicate; have sexual intercourse, we're still human and having a relationship
with our spouse, who we're attracted to, will cause emotions and a host of
feelings to arise at different times. That's the way we were created but the
church preaches prayer and a cold shower. Plausible, right? As my friends and I
would agree, it works but we aren't fools. The bible never points to the act of
masturbation as a sin but rather, what leads to it is. As educated people, we
ought to know that and I hold the opinion that masturbation aids in personal
sexual discovery. If we ignore sexual discovery then we're setting ourselves up
for a very dull sex life. As Christians, we ought to have balance and while we
strive for righteous living, it's important to be both self-aware and sexually
aware. The eye-popping oral sex that the old folks claim to detest but in their deepest
fantasies, they really want to try it, I will simply say that oral sex isn't
sexual intercourse, however; it should only be practised with someone who's
sexual history you know and trust completely. The same applies to anal sex but
it should really be reserved for marriage because it takes a great degree of
trust and knowledge.
If you know me
personally but never heard my opinion on this topic, by now you're
flabbergasted. Does that matter to me? No because as much as we are called
Christians, how many of us understand that Christianity isn't a boring life? It
doesn't restrict us to knowledge or developing our opinions, boundaries and
lifestyle. As my friends and I concluded, we're required to defragment the
teachings of the church to ascertain whether they're preaching Biblical Truth
or imposing a personal opinion on us. If it brings it home any further to the
religiously restricted reader, as a child, I was told that kissing is a sin and
will always lead to intercourse. At first, I took it as truth but as I grew
older and went on a quest for knowledge at age twelve, I laughed so hard my
tenacity went to levels of empowerment. At that point I realized a couple
things; (I) I was told that as a measure of preservation which I do appreciate
but would have rather heard the truth. (II) I knew and understood that I was in
full control of my body and its boundaries.
For sure, you're
questioning a conclusion of our shades of grey and how it fits with our black
and white life. Well, I gladly pass on the truth that pastors fail to share and
parents never tell. While some may argue that waiting until marriage is difficult
or near impossible, their argument is based on their inability to be intimate
with their spouse, hence; revealing the absence of love. The dictionary will
give us several meanings of intimacy but real intimacy comes from a place of
communication on levels where you are surprised by your comfort and
contentment, and deep affection where you can be wrapped up in your partners
stare and know that you're the missing piece to their puzzle and vice versa. If
you aim to please God and not man, you will make it.
Written by:
Drishna Gibson
Comments
Post a Comment