Such a diverse word and yet we only seek after one of it's purposes,
Such a powerful sequence and yet we do not see,
Such a masterful trepidation; eventually we count it as one of our loses,
Such an elaborate expression that from us, it will never flee.
By: Drishna Gibson
I am forever grateful, that I was present at a service at my church when I heard a simple yet profound statement being uttered from my Pastor's mouth. It struck me as sharp and swift as a razor. Of course it applied to me and I bet, the billions of us in the world, who often frolic in love's secret place. Of course we know and it is a fact because the Bible does not lie, that Love is patient, 1 Cor. 13: 4-7 clearly states it but do we truly understand it to be so? Trust me I am not going to preach but the statement is so easily said and seems to be difficult to live.
On the contrary, what outlives patience in this situation, is lust. Lust for what may I ask? To belong? To feel wanted or needed? To not be alone? To be front and center and sole participant of the wildest, erotic sex? A choir of my readers must be saying, "... and what's so wrong with that?" Absolutely nothing!... on the surface that is. My focus here is to sort of, revolutionize the way we look at our defining decade. In my mind, revolution is never a good thing, given the thought of what it has done to the place where I live but I believe a different chain of thought when it comes to matters of the heart, is much needed in our Twenties - the defining decade.
I would remember and I bet scores of you would too, reminiscing on days when we'd day dream about finding our 'prince charming' or 'princess', marry and live happily ever after. By the time we got to age twenty-two, it would seem that someone surely put a huge scratch in that record. I don't mean to put it over so harshly but it is what is and just so we all know, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I have often spoken to a lot of people who're sorrowful because they have yet to find their 'soul-mate' and unfortunately became bitter toward the opposite sex. The men would say that women don't want good men anymore and the women would clearly state that the 'right people' don't ever get to meet each other. I used to say that, until I heard the statement that is now the title of this post.
It's so important to ask ourselves the question of why the rush? Why are we so obsessed with wanting love NOW? In passing through my newsfeed on facebook, one of my friends made a pronouncement which I found quite funny. She said, " I'd rather be single, than wake up next to a husband everyday, wondering if he hasn't died yet?" I laughed because honestly, I share the same view, only because dating and marring the right person is so important whether male or female. Many of us fail to understand that love is a growing process. For sure we all have our check lists of looks, personality etc. but at the end of the day, do they really count? We can't choose who we fall in love with because we can not tell the heart to do what the mind wants. I said all that just to point out that love grows, it moves from stage to stage; breaking down all our barriers.
Prime example of most celebrity marriages would show that they don't last. The match may seem good but the relationship happens on such a whim of lust, the relationship has no foundation to stand on, hence; the reason why the break-up is inevitable and never a surprise. However, the odes is on us to realize the errors and make steps on the right path. It's so valuable to be mature in our thinking when it comes to the relationships we want to see go somewhere. Not forgetting that we're human, we make mistakes and recovering from the mistakes takes two. Jordin Sparks was not lying when she sang "Love is a Battlefield" and sometimes one party may just drop all arms and let the entire thing die but if the relationship is a meaningful one, that isn't wise. I've studied and admired engaged couples who really fought for each other and it couldn't be a more appropriate testimony of how love is patient.
Couples sometimes have to break apart to evolve and truly search within themselves, in becoming the type of spouse they want to be. A relationship that seems stagnant is that way because one or both parties have to evolve to make the right fit for the puzzle. It has nothing to do with 'dogging back' or saying that you were wrong but more so, proving that you are right. Right for the person and right for the challenge in making the love grow and last.
In all your fussing and questioning of love, remember that you have to be patient for love. It begins with valuable friendship and lingers into stages, breaking down all your unknown barriers, eventually enrapturing you into the spellbound whirlwind you desire.
Written by:
Drishna Gibson
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