In the world we
live, people from all aspects of life desire to build relationships, and some
how feel content, knowing that they share the intimate parts of their life with
someone. That may sound all well and fine but just how content, is too content?
I couldn't help but ask that question whilst observing a few relationships
around me. I mean, it's never a great feeling realizing after your partner has
been unfaithful, that you might have actually pushed them there.
I'll state
categorically that cheating is in no way excusable or a right practice. It is
my view, that if an individual is interested in someone outside of the
relationship sexually or otherwise, they should break the present relationship
before beginning another. Sounds fair right? Oh but the
world isn't fair and
neither are some people. The master stroke in all of it though, is making sure
that if and when it happens, you're in the 'right'. Most people would say that
couples should give 50/50 effort in a relationship and I couldn't disagree
more.
Relationships
require work, compromise and a lot of effort and if you are constant in falling
short, eventually there will be a leak. Whether you're committed to someone or
married, there must be a willingness to give 100/100. However, my recent
evaluations are proving to me that some people are taking a lot for granted. I
wonder if the brain does a thing after it's driven a human through hot pursuit
and then slowly comes to a halt after reaching its goal? I'll like to share a
few examples with you, just to prove how much we slight our spouse.
There's a couple
who've crossed the road of infidelity many times but some how remain together.
You'd say they love each other and I won't doubt you but why does the husband
cheat at least once per year? Well I bet now you'd say he's a jerk but what are
the circumstances in his marriage? I'm not giving him an excuse but there's a
problem his wife is not addressing. He'll tell you that he loves his wife, he's
nurtured and protected her but she's not consistent in keeping her appearance
in check. She's grown comfortable with him, forgetting that on his job, he's
surrounded by beautiful women and job events. He's hinted and mentioned his desire to see her lose weight
and dress better before. She threw that thought out of the window but yet every
time he's unfaithful- she begins stepping up her game in the clothing
department temporarily but still ignores the weight issue. Men are triggered by
what they see. It can be shiny on the outside and rotten on the inside with a
fake personality; they'd still go after it if the mind's image of his spouse
isn't much sexier. That marriage is being plagued by infidelity only because an
individual chose to feel satisfied that she's somebody's wife, and fails to
take care of herself.
One day I was
surprised to see my phone bombarded with text messages from an old friend, who
had moved to another country. He explained that his mind was out of control
with anger because he'd just found out that his girl friend of one year, just
slept with another man. I understood his hurt because he thought that she was
wife material and was planning to propose within the next four months. His
intentions were good in planning a future with her but how he explained their
relationship, mirrored a mantle piece with a marbled trophy gloriously sitting
on it. He was bursting his behind to create the future he wanted with her
whilst neglecting her and her need of him in the process. When he found out the
reasons she cheated on him, he thought they were petty. She complained that he
didn't ask her how she was doing often and that he didn't spend enough time
with her in person or on the phone. Just as much effort you put in to gain her
love and trust, work just as hard to keep it. Women don't ask for much but one
thing that's top of their list is to be top priority and to be genuinely cared
for.
You should never get
too comfortable knowing that you're with someone. When you've met that person
you're meant to be with, be smart enough to acknowledge it and remember to be
your best self. Relationships aren't easy and making special gestures to keep
the flames going and reciprocating them, will only ensure zero loopholes for
infidelity.
Written
by,
Drishna
Gibson.
Blogger
& Author.
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me on Twitter and Instagram @daisjahboo
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