It's my
strong belief that people should create the life they want. However, there are
a few spectacles in life where such advice should not be applied. When it
pertains to the male species, our approach must be different and sensitive to
gather accurate information. You see, our careers, fashion sense, fiscal
abilities and communication practices are all shaped by what we desire them to
be but what's impossible, is
the ability to manufacture, mold and shape the man
we want. In this article, I wish to address the number one mistake that thrust
a lot of women into a marriage built on the breeding ground of divorce. 
I would
never judge because at some point, this used to be my practice, and it took
stripping the scales from my eyes and cutting the habit of being naïve to
realize where I was headed. I think a lot of young women have a perception that
they have to create the relationship that they want. While that might not
entirely be a bad thing, there is a difference between creating the
relationship you want and creating the man you want. Harsh but true - only God
can create a man and He has created the right man for each and every one of us.
Meeting him is as simple as letting him find you. Of course, we all have our
ideas of what a good relationship should be; a little bit of adventure, love,
good communication, affection, romance with a dash of "freaky".
Sounds pretty good, right? The real question is… Are we dating the right way?
You see, dating is basically collecting data or information about the opposite
sex that we're interested in but are we really doing that?
The only
way we can collect information about who our man really is, is by letting him
be himself and be the Man. As women, it is so instinctive to step in and take
over the steering wheel and drive our man where we want him to go. Rather than
allowing him to show you where he's going so that the picture becomes clearer.
A man who is able to be himself with you, is a happy man and if you're not
happy that he's being himself then that’s a sign that he just might not be the
man for you. That's the truth causing a lot of women to waddle in naivety and
think they can teach the man to be the way she wants him to be. Haven't you
ever heard the saying, "You can't bend a tree when it's old"? You're
dating, that means you're learning people and also yourself. Don't ignore the
things that annoy you about your spouse and never try to address breaking a bad
habit of his. A good tip to process the data you're actively collecting about
your man, is to keep a journal and don't be lazy and go dishing to your
friends. Dating is between two people. Never open a door of gossip with your
friends about a potential mate - it's not their business.
Men are
creatures of habit and their habits can tell us who they are when they're not
around us. Dating ought to help us figure out whether we're just infatuated with the
idea of being with a man or if we truly are interested in knowing him, his
habits and his intentions. Letting a man be himself will allow him to inform
you of his intentions and when I say inform you of his intentions, I mean
showing it to you. You don't want a man that's all talk and no action and if he
sees that you're letting him string you along, that is exactly what he is going
to do. Hence, why I said earlier that women should allow the right man to find
us. Men always know what they want and their purpose for being with a
relationship. If he's there to play, he'll either tell you or show you so don't
think you can sway him and don't ignore the signs either. If he is there to
honour you and make you his wife, his actions will prove that to you, not only
his words.
In my
many conversations with married couples and divorcees, I've often heard them
say, "She or He changed after we got married." That only happens when
couples spent their time pretending to each other while they were dating, then
entered marriage with a stranger. Ladies, dating is a joy. Take things light
and be yourself. Note the things that disturb you about your spouse and it's
okay if it doesn't work out. Look at it as a time of misery escaped.
Written
by,
Drishna
Gibson.
Blogger
& Author.
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me on Facebook
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me on Twitter and Instagram @daisjahboo
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