The old chant says
"First comes love then comes marriage, and then comes the baby in a baby
carriage". This childish banter still exists but it's becoming clearer to
me, that some people take it into Adulthood and marriage is seen as just that -
"Marriage" and then the rest. It is no lie that marriage isn't easy
and although difficulties will arise from time to time, we must understand when
and how to revive the relationship. A marriage will face the battle of
financial stress, infidelity, lies and abuse but after determining the desire
to stay together, it takes resilience to save a marriage. Of course,
counselling is always advised but after you leave the Marriage Counselor, then
what?
After gathering
information over time, many things stood out to me as to why we have so many
failed marriages and unhappy unions. A general overview shows that a lot of
couples have lost their desire to put effort into the marriage either because
they've become uninterested, or their marriage has morphed into a duty. After a
while, the result is always two broken individuals and a broken marriage can
only produce a broken family and broken family evolves into a defragmented
society. Guess what, marriage is beautiful but it isn't the adjective that
makes it beautiful; it is the willingness of both parties to make marriage
exciting and euphoric. Here are some tips to make it happen.
Two: Exchange
compliments- Never slight the opportunity to make your spouse feel good.
Compliments are also acts of endearment which allows room for a marriage to
expand in genuineness and confidence. There will always be things that you
admire about your spouse. It can be what they're wearing, a new hair do, their
scent and even their cooking. In marriage, compliments can bring great reward
and when a compliment is extended to the bedroom, there shall be fireworks.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with letting your husband know that his penis
worked magic in a position you did last night and guys, there is nothing wrong
in saying to your wife that the thing she did with her tongue, sent you over
the edge.
Three: Practice
Partnership Teamwork- As mentioned before, marriage is not a duty but it comes
with responsibility. A home can not function with out order and finances and
they both have to be conquered by teamwork. I've realized that most younger
married couples have cultivated a practiced rule that draws a line about
splitting all bills in half and chores according to gender. I believe that
we've got a few things twisted. A man is the head of his home and that Biblical
truth admonishes husbands to take care of his wife and home. However; if the
wife in her good judgement, offers to pay a couple of bills as her
responsibility then so be it, after all, she is the help mate. In chores, there
must be a united effort to get them done and executed without feeling stressed.
I am not saying that a husband must always assist in cooking but at least, if
the wife is handling the cooking assist by doing some laundry at the same time.
This type of teamwork builds harmony in a marriage and creates a pocket of time
for shared relaxation.
Four: Sexy little
things- An uninterested partner, is a partner waiting on the right time to
cheat. As adults, we are more than capable in being honest with ourselves when
it comes to appearance. If you're looking in the mirror and you are not in
someway attracted to yourself then most likely, your partner is also finding
difficulty doing the same. I don't mean to be harsh but physical attraction
will always be a key factor in a marriage. I am aware that there are people who
are definitely stuck in a fashion rut but there are also other people, who've
become complacent in their marriage and could care less about keeping up
appearances. If physical attraction is lukewarm then the intimacy and sex- life
will be like cooking with out fire. Transforming yourself depends on your
persistence to always look good and going the extra mile to demand your spouse's
attention. It might be matching underwear, a rose path from the front door to
the tub, placing a sexy note in your husband's pocket or even a surprise
appearance with delectable things underneath.
Five: The Bedroom or
Not?- If there was such a thing as a Sex Bible, it would never state that sex
should remain in the bedroom but guess what, there's no such thing. I know that
there are some stereotypes but we're human and we get bored. Though love making
in the bedroom can be explosive, it's time we become sexually adventurous in
our marriage and take things up a notch. Taking sex outside of the bedroom
affords us the benefit of different lighting, positioning and leverage. The
thrill of spontaneity during the act of sex causes a desire and anticipation
for the next occasion. You'd be surprised of how expressive you've become and
climaxing is no longer a hidden treasure.
Six: Be the
Explorer- A baffling discovery shocked me when I found out that the majority of
couples are shy in bed. Shy to the point of not being fully present during the
experience, just to avoid making the other person uncomfortable. Forgive me if
my perception might be wrong but it is my view that when you marry someone,
their body is a garden that you're allowed to fully explore and vice versa. I'm
not saying that people are not touching every part but are they caressing to
the point of bringing pleasure to the area or are they being too eager to move
on? This is how we can break that curse whether single or married; never keep a
clock in your bedroom. Times of intimacy and intercourse should never be rushed
so take your time and learn your partners body and reactions. Enjoy what you see, feel, smell and taste; that is sensory overload.
Seven: Unexpected
gifts- We all love receiving gifts but how many of us enjoy giving them?
Unexpected gifts are the perfect way to let your other half know that you're
thinking about him/ her. We must never forget to show appreciation to the other
person because you never know how they might be feeling on that day and gifts
always bring a smile. You don't have to break your budget. A gift on a regular
day can be chocolate and a pair of lacy underwear. Whatever tickles your fancy
or would convey a cute little message, it would add the bit of spice you're
looking for.
Written by:
Drishna Gibson
Blogger & Author.
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