Appreciation must go
out to the mothers who gave birth to us and to the fathers (whether present or
absent), who've helped in shaping our minds and sensibilities. Of course, we're in
the heart of the Christmas Season, emotions are piqued and ready to be surprised
by what ever good experiences are headed our way but, what are the true
thoughts the majority of women are having at this time? Just a few weeks ago, I
had the pleasure and was very much enthralled by a conversation I was having
with a few of my girl friends. Funny enough, every where I went after that
occasion, I heard the buzzing of conversations of a similar nature or the exact
issue. To make it clearer, the women I speak about hail from several different
Caribbean countries and various professions. Their concerns are diverse and far
reaching, and today I'm going to put it out there.
By now, in this
generation and time, women all around the world share the understanding that no
one is perfect, especially men. We may have expectations but we will never get
the full package, however; this is the challenge - Are men threatened by strong-
willed, independent women and are they stuck on the one way street of life?
Even married women are asking the same question but the single women clearly
have the most burning issues. To the men that are reading this, the blame can
not be placed just on you so keep reading and don't get defensive. Now I am
very aware that some women are asking for too much but on the other hand, men
are asking, expecting to get it and delivering NOTHING i.e., of substance! This
is exactly what sparked the conversation that had me laughing my belly full but
on a serious note, the issue is grand and some what baffling to see how much a
woman will alter her behavior, lifestyle and beliefs; just to catch a man.
Honestly, I got annoyed and had to make us see the hard facts and where the
problem really is.
It can be undisputed that I am all for Personal Development and keeping our image in tip top shape but doing it just to get a man is a Hell NO! Consistency and practise becomes habit but jumping into a pool in a dark room, will bring you danger. However, that is minor compared to our mind set and the far fetched fantasies we feed to our hearts when it comes to finding and attracting 'Mr. Right'. It's called getting in our own way. Understand this, men are human just like us and they have flaws just like us but unlike us, they are very easy to read and are pretty much like a cup of coffee. What you see, is what you get. With that being said, it's imperative to get a few things straight before we move into a relationship with any man. It is simply knowing the attributes we Need from a man, then deciding what are merely Wants and finally setting Deal breakers. Seems simple enough, right? For many women it isn't because by some whim, their visual might be stuck in the movie "The Best Man II".
On the other hand, I
wish to address the men. The men who want the super model girl friend and I
don't mean skinny but rather, a well put together woman who he can flaunt like
a trophy and think giving her the label 'girl friend' is some what rewarding. All
of that means nada, if the so called 'boy friend' is bringing nothing to the
table and by that I don't mean money. I am referring to his neglect in being a
gentleman and a companion and treating you as his equal. To men this sounds
easy and they'll rub their palms together and lick their lips, ready to pick
the next vulnerable, juicy cherry. That is what we call pretending just to get
what you want and it's exactly how men get trapped. Word of advice Fellas;
before you go into a direction of entering a relationship with a woman, fill
the morbid, decapitated part of your brain with the understanding that the both
of you are choosing to be together and are therefore doing each other a favour
by entering into companionship. You are not a necessity but rather a desire and
a chosen partner to share our journey with.
I worded it that way
so that we could comprehend that having a spouse is not oxygen or medication.
As I stated earlier, we can't entirely blame the men alone. They were raised
buy parents and the society they grew up in helped in socializing them. Some how
in our opinion, the women from the Caribbean were handed a lot of chalk coal of
the male species. Have our Caribbean matriarchs failed in teaching their sons
how to speak to women, be a gentleman and further, the way in which to nurture
his relationship with a woman? Some how, mothers obsess with babying their sons
and calling them boys until the day they die. Guess what, women want men in the
world, not boys with a false sense of self, with expectations they are not
meeting themselves. If a man desires a woman who looks and smells good, has a
great personality and drive and more over has ambition; then he has to be what
he wants.
In closing, I wish
to applaud the women who are strong- willed and independent. Never compromise
your opinions and independence to pamper a man's ego because it will only take
a strong- willed, independent man to step up to the plate. Guard your heart and
never become vulnerable or desperate, that's a recipe for failure. If a man is
interested, he'll state his intentions, communicate on a regular and make his
presence felt.
Written by:
Drishna Gibson
P.S - To all of my
readers and subscribers, I wish you a blessed Christmas and a Prosperous 2016.
Love and Best wishes.
Drishna.
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