Whether young or
old, we all gravitate to certain things and people. The question is, however;
Do we like who and what we're attracting? My recent observations are proving to
be quite conflicting and I'm beginning to question our sense of reason and entitlement.
I wish to show us a picture that will hopefully bring some realizations in
helping us understand what we want and need from our lives and relationships.
Whatever floats your boat (love, money, relationship or childish play), the things that matter in your life- Are you happy with your current state? I asked the question because what many people term as "happiness", is actually "being content or marely satisfied". I'll go even further to say that most people are comfortable, or playing it safe because going after something more, might seem greedy or selfish and scary. To bring my point home further, I'll share a few factual cases with you.
There were several instances in this year in which I had the opportunity to speak with a few lesser fortunate young people and despite their joy and zest for life, I noticed how their perspectives kept them poor and will continue to do so if they fail to elevate their thinking. In our string of conversations, I saw that they were admiring me and enjoying what I had to say to them and it got to a point where a young man among us said to me, "… you're pretty Miss and you sound very smart too so why you're not 'blinging'?" To tell you the truth I wasn't shocked but I was very curious to know why he thought that way so I asked him about the benefits 'blinging' will bring to me and he was very frank in his response, "Every body is doing it and people will notice you more." I tried my best not to laugh because I wanted to allow him to hear his own stupidity so I asked him why he wasn't 'blinging' and he said, "…cause I don't have a job but as soon as I get one, I'm gonna have more ice around my neck than you could have in a week of drinks." Note that this group of youngsters were lucky if they ate two meals in a day and yet their goal was set on an outward façade of what they think shows status. My response to him was this, " Thank you for telling me what you think 'blinging' is supposed to do and sharing your aspiration of attaining it but unlike you, it is not an aspiration of mine because it does not add to my worth, net worth and disposable income; therefore 'blinging' will not be the impression I leave with you, it will be wisdom." He looked at me as if he saw a ghost and said no more on the issue. That was over a few months ago and apparently he got a job and did get his 'bling' but he's now on the block hoping for a job yet again. You see, when it comes to managing our finances, it's pivotal to understand the importance of prioritizing in a way that will attract the kind of wealth we want and henceforth, develop behaviors that will aid us in keeping that wealth.
Our tendencies may not be easily depicted in understanding why we attract the things and people we do, matter of fact we may not even realize it. Just about a year ago, an old friend from school was relating to me his dissatisfaction with his relationship. In actuality, he was confused of how 'ghetto' his girlfriend can be when ever they had a misunderstanding. To be honest, when I heard the story, I too was appalled because for a guy who acts like a perfect gentleman, I couldn't imagine him getting into a relationship like that. After getting to know her from his report and evaluating him at the same time, I realized that he attracted that type of woman all the time. Though he was well educated, has an amazing job and full of generosity, he was still very much insecure and craved women who'd give him lots of attention and made him feel 100% needed. She made him comfortable, did his laundry, cooked, the whole works but there was a flip side to her. Her aggression reigned true when she felt her time and attention granted her entitlement and the right to disrespect him and to be loud about it. My friend didn't realize that his insecurities hampered his ability to exercise his power of choice. What that means is that he didn't feel confident and sure in himself to persue the kind of woman he really wanted so instead he settled for who ever showed him ample attention and a glint of want that would make him feel safe or "content". It's one thing to be happy in your relationship but it's another basket of eggs when we choose to be in a relationship just for the sake of saying that we're not single.
Of course, no one is perfect and life isn't either but the things we can control, such as our happiness… we should. If you're unhappy in the state you are in, you and only you, have the power to change it. We control our own magnetism by our minds and it's connection with our hearts- that's how we attract the things we want.
Written by:
Drishna Gibson
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