At the beginning of every year, billions of people across the world set out on making what they call a "resolution". Somehow, it's seems like the proper way of admitting the need for change and the urge to turn a new leaf. Seems applaudable right? I think so too but what's conflicting, are the reasons change is desired and the failure of letting go of past hurt. I wish to open a new vault in our thinking because while change is good, old habits always serve their purpose.
I must admit, I used to be a statistic in the "resolution makers", that is, until five years ago. Just to put it out there and make it clear; people are miserable because they're unconsciously being "people pleasers". I know it all to well because I had vowed in changing so much, until I became one of them. It took me getting frustrated and being walked all over, to realize that I had no voice. I concentrated on serving others and neglected serving myself. Ignorance had me to believe that I was being "selfless". No this isn't confession and you're not a Priest. I shared that to amplify this; the purpose of our past is to exonerate our future. Rather than change, it's wiser to move on with a knowledge of ourselves, being certain of how our past is shaping us. I've termed this as a Fresh Start because it requires new a perspective to grow by design.
It is my belief that while change is good, the choices we've made have created our individuality and so, we must often reflect on the past in order to steer our future. Sometimes looking back may bring anguish, embarrassment and stomach churning feelings but it will also bring bursts of joy because our past is where our experiences taught us about our likes, dislikes and hurts. All of which contribute to our uniqueness. The key to having a fresh start, is positivity in our worth and power, acknowledging our own greatness. It's the only time "self- absolvement" is pivotal, giving ourselves affirmation and control in very moment to make right decisions.
However, moving on in good stead will always be short lived if we fail to exercise the act of forgiveness. I know I'm going to get a lot of sighs for this but its truth and this is one truth, that even I struggle with. Contrary to what a lot of people believe, forgiveness is not a process- it's a choice. It's a choice to release ourselves and the other person. Not because it benefits them but more so, you drop off a load that you shouldn't carry. It's easiest when we forgive ourselves first. Sometimes we crucify ourselves for diving into that position, or compromising but wallowing in it does not help you to progress. The comfort is in knowing that we ought to forgive but we aren't commissioned to forget.
We don't have to go the person to say, "You're forgiven". Choosing to untie our emotions and letting go of the person, is all it takes. Don't be the horse adamant to graze on the same patch of land forever, that takes away your glow and ability to attract new and better experiences. Be the ship that sails valiantly through the tides and currents.
Written by:
Drishna Gibson
Drishna Gibson
To all my faithful readers and subscribers, I wish you many pleasantries in 2015 and may the peace of God sustain you always.
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