Evidently, marriage embodies the sacred union of two individuals bringing together a melting pot of love, personalities, attitudes and traits. It's almost definite for every marriage to encounter some rocky roads along life's journey but one must ask the question; how much can I really tolerate? I guess the ladies might have a list of 'pet peeves' but do men really consider what's their true 'deal breaker'? I'm sure you guys are saying, "Yes we do". For some, that might be the case but in marriage, being naive and making the 'deal breakers' trivial matters can really affect you in the long run.I always live with the notion of knowing that dating a person can tell us a lot... if we don't turn a blind eye to it of course. Some say, "Love is blind", for good reason and I wish to highlight a few major issues that seem to be always ignored. Not that I know every thing but things like what I'm about to bring up aches me, not because the men complain about it but simply because some women overlook it, thinking these things make them a wife. A wife isn't expected to look matronly and burdened by the demands of running a home and family. In my view, a wife should be a husbands equal, his mystique, confidant and pleasure. I am aware that men are born with a protective and territorial instinct when it comes to women and women are just nurturing on all fronts but I wish to open our eyes to a few things.
Ladies, have you ever dated a guy or is married to a guy who says to you, "I love your body but it's only for my eyes to see so please don't wear anything too revealing", whenever you're going out? Doesn't that make you smile and blush and think, "He wants me"! Fellas I am sure that's the intended effect you wanted the statement to have right? (Record scratch) ... Girl I'm about to slap that blush off your face! Your man only said that to put you on the 'reserved for me market'. Never heard of it?...You're going to learn today!
In a man's mind, when he is dating a lady and really likes her and is unsure of himself in the commitment area, he says that to her so as as to make her feel that things are getting serious and she's 'The One'. While in the mean time, he's fishing around, testing minor relationships with other women just in case he needs a 'Plan B' or it's a strategy to ensure that she's the 'Keeper'. Sorry to break it to you like that Ladies but it is, what it is. Now on the down side for you Fellas, if the woman you said that too isn't a confident one and you marry her, three years down the road, you're going to come home to Madea and that isn't cute... so in some aspects, your game playing will bite you hard in the ass or dare I say the penis because no man gets an erection for Madea! However Ladies, if you're 'The One' and he's not insecure with himself and his commitment abilities, he'll admire the way you dress, compliment you, work hard to look good by your side and share the sentiments that you being with him, makes him envied by the entire male species.
Some wives will hear their husbands say the very same and go off on the whim of the famous quote, "Be a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed". Reality check... being a lady entails charm, confidence and a great aura accompanied by a flattering appearance, i.e sexy in a classy way. The '...freak in the bed' part is the side he sees when he looks deep into your eyes or by your touch. I know some wives think that it's expected to have dinner ready at a certain time and laundry done and that's all well and good but don't overwhelm yourself with work to the point of forgetting to be the 'eye-candy'. If he wanted his food as soon as he finished work, he'd stop by his mother, if he's looking forward to being home with his wife, look and be edible enough to be on his plate with the food.
I'm not giving any more clues but Ladies, being someone's spouse or wife, it is very important to keep up appearances and look great. There is no room for complacency because you should never be too busy for yourself. An important part of making any relationship work, is taking the time to do what you need to do for you not for your man. When you give importance to yourself and keeping your standard when it comes to dressing and looking well, your husband has no other choice than to pay close attention to what is his.
Written by:
Drishna Gibson
Drishna Gibson
Stay tuned for Part 2!
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